Now What?! The dating scene - now streaming

I generally try to keep my topics relatively broad, but this one is a bit more honed in on my single brethren – and, for any married readers, sheer entertainment.

While enjoying dinner and a cocktail with a single friend recently, I ran some opinions by him about the current modus operandi in the dating world. My message: a single person these days is akin to a seller in the current housing market. Sellers have to make very little effort to attract multiple interested parties. Few repairs or upgrades need to be made in order for a home not only to be appealing but to generate multiple offers over the asking price. Potential buyers feel as if they have found the perfect house, until they realize it wasn’t in the cards for them to have it, and so the search continues.

This lived metaphor, at least, has been my experience in most cases and obviously does not describe all single men and women.

After I provided my comparison, my friend responded, ‘I see dating more like a streaming service. There are so many options out there, people really don’t have to give a series or movie much more than 20-30 minutes before they decide to move on to another.’

It was brilliant and right on the money.

This isn’t to say that single men and women are so superficial that they all move on without giving a date a fair chance, but it seems to be relatively universal.

Although frustrating when the attraction is one-sided, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. On the contrary, options can be great. Just because someone is single does not mean he or she is perfect match for another single person. I believe it turns into a negative when we aren’t willing to give someone a chance because we want to roll the dice on someone “better,” which is so subjective. One person’s perfect catch can be another person’s victim of ghosting.

My hope is that anyone reading this will take away two pieces of advice.

First, take pride in what you have to offer to a possible mate. Even if your dance-card is never empty, give the best version of yourself because if you’ve engaged someone to get to know them better, that is what they deserve.

Second, if you are fortunate enough to have found someone that you enjoy and are attracted to, don’t convince yourself to move on to another option because you don’t like her hairstyle or his big ears.

Try not to fall into the 80/20 trap when considering your options. Don’t dismiss a mate, or possible mate, because he or she is missing 20% of what your ideal person possesses, all the while ignoring the amazing person who encompasses 80% of what your soul needs. (I say your soul because looks fade, and as cliche as it sounds when a connection is right, the little things seem to become not so important.)

Maybe give that show a few episodes before you move to another. Sometimes your first instinct is correct, and it wasn’t meant for you. But other times, you might end up loving it.