For foster and adoptive parents, a roller coaster ride that's 'worth it in the end, for sure'

Adoption for Autumn Zaborowski has its happy moments, despite often coming from a sad place.

Nationally, there are almost 400,000 children in the foster care system, according to the United States Child Welfare website. In Henrico County, there are currently 132 children in foster care, and 112 are under the age of 18, according to Zaborowski, a volunteer in Henrico County who previously worked as a family-match program director for Adoption Share.

Having adopted and also worked as an advocate for children in the foster care system, Zaborowski knows how important adoption and fostering is.

“Some people think adoption is a really happy thing,” Zaborowski said. “Which it can be, but it does come from a lot of loss, and a lot of sadness.”

Adoption and foster care are so intertwined in Henrico County because people adopt through foster care, Zaborwski said.

“The first goal is to get kids back with their biological family or with a relative but there are some cases where that’s not possible,” Zaborowski said.

Adoption is the last resort in Henrico County, she said. If the parental rights for a child are terminated, that's when the child is available for adoption.

“You have to foster for six months before you can petition to adopt or before your case turns to adoption,” Zaborwski said. “So even if a kid has been available for adoption, the family waiting for them has to do foster care for six months. And then they go into an adoption agreement.”

The county works to keep a family together through the family preservation unit which could help a family get back on their feet so they can financially support their children, Zaborowski said. If it’s abuse and neglect that is harming the family, Virginia Child Protective Services is available to investigate and get children to a safe place.

“When everything has been explored, and the child hasn’t been given proper care, they go to the judge and they’re pulled into foster care,” Zaborowski said.

Seventy percent of kids who go to adoption get adopted by their foster families, Zaborowski said.

“I have a firm belief that a lot of people should just get certified. Just get their license and have that as an option even if they have to say no [to a foster child],” Zaborowski said.

The first step to becoming a foster parent is to go to an orientation session held by Henrico County. The next session is from 6 p.m. to 7 p.m. on Dec. 13 at Fairfield Library. More orientation session dates are available on Henrico County’s foster parent website.

“Then, Henrico County holds two foster care licensing sessions a year, one in the spring and one in the fall. And it’s 10 weeks, so for 10 weeks, you go once a week for three hours to a foster parenting training class,” Zaborowski said.

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Victoria Bosshart, a foster parent and recent adoptive parent, said most people don’t understand what fostering is or how to become a foster parent.

“It's really just an investment of time. I don't think a lot of people go through that whole thing and then don't get approved,” Bosshart said.

Bosshart said that she started fostering because there were so many kids that needed homes.

“I have fostered 18 kids now,” Bosshart said. “It didn’t really make sense to me to have more biological kids if there’s kids in our own community that have nowhere to go.”

Her son came into the foster system at 10 weeks old and has been a part of her family since then.

“'I’ve had one for 12 hours. I've had one for two days. I've had them for three months. I had one for 10 months,” Bosshart said. “You really just never know when they show up whether it'll be a day or a lifetime.”

Bosshart said there is a common misconception about fostering, and that some people think she just chose her son out of the 18 she fostered. Instead, Bosshart wasn’t given the option to adopt any of the other children.

“It’s kind of a ‘You sign up for however long they need you until the court tells you otherwise,'” Bosshart said.

Bosshart believes fostering is accessible because of support from the county.

“Henrico does a really good job of having parent support groups,” Bosshart said. “And a lot of the families, we all know each other and so when things get really hard, we have a whole text thread and we have a once-a-month group that meets for a support group.”

Zaborowski said that when things get hard, it’s nice to have people who know what you’re going through.

“Raising kids that aren't biologically yours is different,” Zaborowski said. “The genetics are different, backgrounds are different, but kids coming into foster care, they automatically have trauma.”

The county itself provides funding for childcare, formula, food and most child expenses, Bosshart said. Foster parents don’t need to be in the financial position to support another child to foster, Bosshart said.

“It's a roller coaster ride, but it's worth it in the end, for sure,” Bosshart said.

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Disclosure: Autumn Zaborowski is a volunteer member of the Henrico Citizen's Citizen Advisory Board.