Circle of friends

At the 2nd & Charles bookstore in Henrico's West End, browsing shoppers might see a group of three girls completing a scavenger hunt, likely focused on books that involve animals. Two of the girls, Sophie Hampton and Eliana Nachman, are 17 and planned the hunt. The third, Natalie Wilken, is 11, on the autism spectrum and working to complete the hunt.

These three girls became friends through their participation in The Friendship Circle of Virginia, a Henrico-based non-profit focused on creating friendships between children with disabilities and teenagers without, largely through playdates in the Friends at Home program.

“Our tagline is building an inclusive community, one friendship at a time,” said founder and director Dr. Sarah Kranz-Ciment. “We purposely create programs that bridge the general Richmond community together with the disability community” and stay inclusive by welcoming any children or teenagers who want to be friends, as well as hosting an event for community members not involved in the organization to discuss inclusivity.

The Friends at Home program brings the friends together once a week in the community or in the child’s home, which allows for a deeper connection, Kranz-Ciment said, as the children can show off toys or collections and their friends can meet their family and pets. The friendship becomes organic, she said.

The organization also offers Birthday Circle, which has bimonthly birthday celebrations ranging from horseback riding to Jumpology, Friends at Services for families who attend religious services, an Action Club for girls interested in service, and Mom’s Night Out, among others. Siblings of any friends are welcome to attend events, which broadens the community, Kranz-Ciment said.

Social connections
Kranz-Ciment has a niece who was born neurotypical but had a medical episode at about two and a half months that left her unable to walk and talk. Her niece is now almost 19, but Kranz-Ciment became involved while she was younger, giving her experience in the life of a child with disabilities.

As a physical therapist, Kranz-Ciment noticed that although there are programs for varying needs of children with disabilities, none provided a social aspect.

Friendship Circle is an international organization composed of local chapters with their own character, Kranz-Ciment said.

The international Friendship Circle website lists 65 chapter locations. Kranz-Ciment founded the Friendship Circle of Virginia — the only one in Virginia at the time, although a chapter is opening in Northern Virginia, she said.

Friendship Circle of Virginia is a Jewish organization and part of Chabad of Virginia but has no religious agenda, she said. Through the Friends at Services program, families can have friends accompany them to any religious service.

The international organization does not provide funding, and Friendship Circle of Virginia relies on fundraising and grants to provide its programs for free. Fundraising, along with recruiting teenage boys to be friends, is the most difficult part of running Friendship Circle, Kranz-Ciment said. In May, Friendship Circle raised $30,000 through its first Bowl4Friendship event.

Natalie, Sophie, and Eliana met five years ago, when Kranz-Ciment came to Michael Wilken’s workplace. A friend of his told him to go to the table Friendship Circle had set up, said Wilken (Natalie’s father), and he spoke to Kranz-Ciment for a while. She set up an initial meeting between the three friends. https://playswiz.com/

Now, Natalie is like a little sister, Eliana said.

“She’s almost the age I was when we first met, and that’s crazy to me, that we’ve known each other for that long,” Eliana said.

The girls’ activities have evolved from parallel play to trips to the park, playground, and bookstore.

“Initially they [Sophie and Eliana] kind of looked to us to make plans or make suggestions,” Kristen Wilken said, “and now I think they’re much more comfortable to suggest activities and take the lead” and include Natalie in planning.

Eliana and Sophie provide a model for friendship that transfers to Natalie’s interactions with peers, and they hold her to high expectations, Kristen said.

“Initially, Natalie was a little bit delayed in her communication, which is pretty typical with autism, so there wasn’t a lot of conversation back and forth,” she said, “and now the girls really hold her accountable for communicating. They have learned when they need to give her time and then they’ve also learned to push her a little bit socially and ask her questions.”

Changing teens’ lives
The Wilkens know that Natalie enjoys her visits with Sophie and Eliana because she repeats the conversations she has with them to her parents as she processes them, Kristen said.

Friendships become genuine, Kranz-Ciment said, with friends’ families attending each other’s soccer games, graduations, and other important events. Friendship Circle changes teen friends’ lives, Kranz-Ciment said. Some change their majors in college to work with the disabled community or notice ways their organizations or employers need to change to be inclusive, she said.

The teens recognize lessons that participating in Friendship Circle taught them.

“It’s helped me come out of my own shell,” Sophie said. Through getting to know Eliana and Natalie, she has become less shy.

“I’ve always valued kindness and compassion and treating people that are different the same. My mom is a special ed teacher so I’ve grown up with that ideology, but getting to actually do it and execute that ideology is really nice,” Eliana said. When Natalie has been too loud or otherwise not followed social conventions, Eliana has learned that it is okay, and she can appreciate Natalie for who she is.

The Wilkens are not sure how the transition between friends will go when Sophie and Eliana leave for college, Kristen said, but they hope to stay in contact with both friends. As for Natalie, Kristen hopes that Friendship Circle will evolve to include programs for her past high school.

This month, the Friendship Circle will end its summer recess with a kick-off event from 5 p.m. to 7 p.m. Sept. 22 at Boomerang Air Sports, 205 Towne Center West Boulevard in Henrico. The event is open to anyone and will be accessible for any ability level. Participants may register at friendshipcircleva.org.