‘A beacon of light, laughter’

Over the last decade, Henrico's Mekong Restaurant has consistently made headlines. Not only is its Vietnamese cuisine a frequent winner of top-tier honors in local "best Asian restaurant" polls, but Craftbeer.com has also named Mekong "Best Beer Bar in America" for multiple consecutive years.

Since a June 30 tragedy in the James River, however, Mekong has been in the spotlight for all the wrong reasons -- and members of the Mekong community are still grappling with unanswered questions.

That Sunday morning, Quy Pham, beloved bartender at the popular establishment, inexplicably drowned while participating in a triathlon. Pham was only 35, and left a wife and two young daughters.

From the moment the news broke, Mekong regulars, members of the beer community and Pham's fellow cyclists and triathletes flooded Facebook with posts to express their shock and sadness and laud Pham as a "beacon of light and laughter," as one admirer put it.

Many posters spoke of Pham's welcoming presence at the bar and his easy way with customers. "Quy loved everyone," wrote Thomas Glazier. "He always made us feel so special."

"He made you feel like you were at home all the time," said Frank Barksdale.

"Quy treated everyone like they were the most important person in the world," wrote Michael Felberbaum. "I always made sure to see him every time I came back to town, because he always made it feel like I’d never left."

Others posts mentioned Pham's compassion and how he took the time to listen, even on busy nights at the bar. One poster even said, "I can honestly say Quy saved my life. One of the first people I spoke to after my suicide attempt. A giant hug to reassure me he was glad I was there. He helped change my life and perspective."

Many who posted also mentioned his broad smile, quick wit and infectious laugh.

"I never saw Quy without a smile and a hug," said Lauren Williams.

Pham had a knack, it seems, for putting people together and creating friendships –even as he worked the bar.

"My friend list is just mostly a list of friendships Quy created," said Alex Akselrod.

"He helped me make friends and become a part of a community when I moved [to Richmond]," wrote Emma Fernandes.

"On my first trip to Richmond, he was one of the first people I met," echoed Eddy Torres. "He treated me like I was family almost immediately. Such a genuinely fantastic human."

"He was the magnet that drew people together, and the ultimate matchmaker," said Jennifer Akselrod.

‘Quy forever’
On Monday evening, one day after Pham's death, the Mekong community showed up in force at the bar.

In addition to Mekong regulars and members of the beer community, many of Pham's newer friends – those who had met him through his passion for cycling, swimming, and fitness – showed up to share their "Quy stories." The anecdotes went on long into the evening, interrupted by frequent tearful toasts and heartfelt tributes.

A GoFundMe account established to support the Pham family mounted quickly into the tens of thousands – even before the July 6 funeral at Church of Vietnamese Martyrs, where Pham was active as a youth leader.

On July 22, Mekong's sister establishment, The Answer Brewpub, held a musical tribute to Pham and sold "QUY RVA" stickers to benefit the family.

And on July 24, The Veil Brewing Company released a beer in Pham's honor, announcing that 100 percent of proceeds would support his family. Hours before The Veil opened at 4:00, the line began to form, and wrapped the parking lot by the time the doors opened.

Among those first in line to buy a single $60 500-milliliter bottle of "Quy Forever" was a group of four friends of Pham, who endured the wait by reminiscing about good times. All expressed gratitude that they had gotten to spend time with him outside of Mekong.

Mike Berman recalled that Pham "liked to mess with me" – prodding him to taste dishes like balut (a Vietnamese dish comprised of a developing bird embryo).

Another favorite memory of Berman's was driving with Pham to North Carolina for a beer release. On the return trip, said Berman, "I had quite the buzz, so he drove my Mustang. He took a picture of me asleep and posted it on Facebook.

"Later, we went to Norfolk for another beer release, and that time he drank too much; so I drove, and took a picture of Quy passed out in my car.

"Every anniversary of those trips we would post the pictures again."

Bill Cavender, who met Pham originally at Mekong, got to know him better when Pham took up cycling.

In February 2018, Cavender and John McKinzie traveled to Vietnam to see Pham while he was visiting his native country for the Tet (Vietnamese new year).

"We spent four days with his family and celebrated," said Cavender. "It was the 50th anniversary of the Tet Offensive. Quy and his brother-in-law met us at the airport with gifts of fermented sausage, Vietnamese moonshine, and beef jerky. We visited his uncle, and walked around parts of Saigon where Quy grew up. At Halong Bay, he saved us from getting scammed [on a boat tour]."

Pham had never visited Halong Bay before, added McKinzie.

"So it was Quy's first time being a tourist in his own country. But he was also our tour guide."

While Steve Beasley was not on the Nam trip, he also traveled with Pham in 2018 – to Belgium. The trip took place soon after Beasley had remarried.

"So our joke," he said with a laugh, "is that Quy crashed our honeymoon,"

"He was such a giving person," Beasley added. "Very authentic. A lot of fun to be around."

Berman agreed. "I literally have seen him take the shirt off his back," he said. "That's just the way he was. A customer would see his shirt and say, 'Oh, I used to have one of those, but it got messed up in the wash.' And Quy would take off his own shirt and hand it to him."

Depth of friendship
Whether at Mekong, on Facebook or in line at The Veil, Pham's friends and admirers expressed variations on two themes: feeling fortunate to know Pham, and appreciation for the friendships and laughter he brought their way.

"I have a lot of great memories," said Bill Cavender. "I'm honored I could share so much with Quy – especially that trip."

"There was a depth of friendship with Quy," said Berman. "I felt strongly about him as a person."

McKinzie recalled that the week before Pham's death, he brought a friend from South Dakota to Mekong. "I had to take him there," he said.

After only a brief visit with Pham, his friend said of the bartender, "That dude's awesome."

"He made an impression," said McKinzie.

Beasley reiterated the refrain that Pham did not just build personal relationships with others, but had a hand in creating them among strangers – strangers who often hailed from vastly different walks of life.

"All these people at The Veil?" Beasley said afterwards, speaking of McKinzie, Cavender, and Berman. "Quy introduced us all."

More than one fan of Quy Pham expressed the sentiment that Mekong will never be quite the same without him.

Beasley recalled the feeling he had recently when his daughter was at an event and he realized he had some time to kill before picking her up. It was a moment when he would normally think, "Oh, I'll go to Mekong and see Quy."

Then he was brought up short as he remembered: "Quy's not there."

Nevertheless, Pham's friends will still be drawn to Mekong.

"I have no clue what it is going to feel like walking in that door next week," Isaac Bernstein-Miller wrote on Facebook in a tribute directed at Pham. "But I know for a fact I’m going to have two very wet eyes.

"And I will find one of your many friends to hug when I get there."